What makes parents help their children with their homework
It may not be about the child, but about us. This is a case where helping with homework ends in tears and scandals, rather than in a flash of insight and fives. It is worth asking ourselves the question: why is it so important to me that my child does his homework and gets a good grade?
The answers may vary. Some parents recognise their own perfectionism: it is impossible to watch a pupil failing something, because everything has to be done perfectly. They perceive the teacher's remarks painfully, as if they are scolding themselves, the non-perfect parents of an incapable child. Others are afraid of lack of control - it seems that if you trust your child to cope with homework on their own, the flow of F's will never end, and if you don't stand over the soul, while the offended pupil sniffs at the textbook, he won't touch the tasks at all. Others use help with homework as a way to take care of the child and take an interest in his life. In all these cases, it is better to work with a psychotherapist - perhaps when you cope with your fears, it turns out that the school is able to learn on their own and total control is not necessary.
However, the problem may lie in the school, a particular teacher or a lack of time. Watching a child, who after school went to extracurricular activities, then to art school, and in the evening falls asleep on homework, it is another ordeal! No wonder you want to give the right answer and send your child to bed. If your child isn't overwhelmed by drama classes and tutoring, but the amount of homework and creative projects makes you cringe, you may want to talk to the teacher or even change schools.
What's the right way to help with lessons?
"I don't help my child with his homework, and he's doing great" is something few parents can boast about. Although there's usually nothing to brag about: assiduity and the ability to grasp everything on the fly may be natural features, which were not influenced by early development clubs and home library. If your child sits down to do exercises in a subject they're not very interested in, doesn't understand the material, gets angry, procrastinates and puts the book aside, it's a normal reaction. It doesn't mean that you have to sit down next to your child and go over every task and tell him or her the answers. There are other ways to help your child:
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Suggest, not control. Ask your child if he or she understands the material and if he or she needs your help today, or if you can plan your own work. That way it's easier for him to ask you a question than after a menacing, "Did you do your homework?"
Organise his workspace. A comfortable chair that he won't get tired of sitting on, a clean desk with plenty of space, printed worksheets with material on the walls - all this will help your child not get distracted and create the right mood.
Establish a routine. Starting and finishing homework at the same time is a good habit. And of course, you shouldn't stay up late at night doing your homework.